Retirement

Last night we had our winter comp touch football grand final. Having not won a competition in about three years and losing our last grand final, I'm happy to report we managed a 4-3 win. I spent most of the second half wishing the game would hurry up and finish as I was so nervous about maintaining our lead.
After the game I announced that I'd be hanging up my boots. My continued frustration at not being able to play effectively, the ongoing degeneration of my hand/arm function and my feeling of being a burden to the team combined until I knew it was the right decision. Hopefully it's not a permanent decision, and my health improves enough for me to make a comeback, but until then I don't think it's fair on myself or the team to keep playing.

Thanks to the great staff at my neurosurgeon's office I'm off to see the doctor on Friday. I'm guessing I'll be off to get some tests after that, then jump back into the queue to see him again, after which I can see three possible scenarios:

• I have some form of operation
• I start some form of therapy
• I do nothing

Of these, the third is the least palatable. Knowing I have the potential for my health to worsen and not be able to do anything about is a particularly is extremely frustrating for someone like myself who thrives on knowledge and information - the many variables and unanswerable questions constantly tick away in my brain. At least in three days or so time I'll know a little more.

Back on the merry-go-round

My visit to the physio ran pretty much to script. I described the problem, he got me to push and pull my arm and wrist through various positions, he remarked on the noticeable comparable weakness in areas associated with C6-C8, mainly around C7. Lot's of words like "Brachial" and "Anterior" got thrown around, but the gist of it was that something was not working right between my brain and my arm.
So, down the hall to the neurosurgeon's office I went. The first available appointment is in September, but the lovely receptionist was going to get my file in front of the doctor so he could ask for any necessary tests before seeing me, instead of drawing things out by seeing me, asking for tests, then seeing me again. One of the benefits of being a regular customer I suppose.
I'm surprisingly upbeat about this at the moment. I'm not sure why - considering it was only in May that I thought I'd never have to see the neurosurgeon again, I'd expect to be a bit more upset or at least disappointed.
Back to the waiting game...

Do you want the bad news?

My sporadic posting continues, as does the bad news. I'd been noticing that some of the exercises given to me by my physio didn't feel quite right - I was lacking a full range of movement in some, felt like I had reduced power and was struggling to complete the longer sets recommended by my physio. Then, one day when kicking back on the couch I realised I couldn't push my right arm straight up without assistance. This is scary. While I've had issues with subtle deterioration in my hand and arm, I've never had outright failure of a major movement like this before. I'm heading back to the physio ASAP and direly hoping it's something muscular and not related to my neck.
That is probably an outrageously optimistic viewpoint and I'll be walking over to my neurosurgeon's office straight after.

To make things more "interesting", I'm working in Canberra at the moment, and it's pretty cold this time of year. Normally my hand claws right up in the cold, but my right arm has been curling in lately as well. I've only spilled three coffees and dropped one sandwich as a result - probably not a bad effort.
I've been continuing to play touch footy as well, but I'm starting to feel like even more of a burden to the team. I'm struggling to get to full pace when I run, and catching and passing are getting harder. Last night I took a fall and landed on my right elbow, jarring my shoulder. I had some very familiar pins and needles straight away, and could barely move my arm for about 15 minutes.

Sp, that's the gloomy view at the moment. Things can only get better though. Right?